In order to have a truly fulfilling relationship (or even start a healthy relationship) with a great guy, you need to come from a place of strength, confidence, and fulfillment.
Whenever a relationship goes sour (or fails to launch), it’s almost always caused by some tiny fear, doubt, worry or insecurity that grows and festers until you feel overwhelmed by the whole ordeal. Your fears and worries compel you to confirm whether they’re real or imaginary.
I’ve had some of my female readers complain that the term neediness makes it sound like I’m framing women as weak, fragile, insecure creatures that just cling to men (and stress them out). I think women bring a tremendous strength and power to the table in relationships…
when they have access to it and are free of their own fears. Those fears are greater now more than ever really since there’s an entire industry devoted to making sure men and women are wrought with insecurities so they buy products (sowing in and agitating tiny insecurities is the bread and butter of the marketing world).
And then, one fine day, just before hanging up he says, “Sweetheart, if only I wasn’t married, I would be so in love with you. The beginning of the end The real dark story unveils here.
The little innocent doe in you (in most cases) braves itself up and walks curiously ahead. He’s a married man, and you know you don’t want to fall, but he’s such an emotional wreck, and the most striking part of it all is, he’s totally in love with you. Now, you warm up to him to shower him with happiness, and the next thing you know, you’re snogging him in hallways of movie theaters and bouncing off walls in your apartment, all in the purpose of making him a happier man! You’re dating a married man, and you want him all for yourself.
And it always starts with the same feelings of confusion, hesitation and attraction.
You’re flattered to know he loves you, no man who’s so sweet has ever told you something like that. [Read: Cheating in a relationship] And unknown to you, you’re preparing yourself for the inevitable. The wife and the other woman The worst part of all this is that you’d never really want to be in this place, but somehow, you find yourself here. All of a sudden, you’re not just another nice girl.
You’re entering into a relationship with a married man! You’re the “other woman” who’s dating a married man.
And before you know it, you’re way past knee deep, you’re almost choking with the bottled affections you have for this man. [Read: Feel lost in life] You’re marked from the rest of the world. But it doesn’t matter to you, because you know this man loves you, and wants you more than he wants his own wife. He constantly reminds you that he loves you a lot more than he loves his wife, but he’s just not able to walk out, what with his kids, wife, and even his mom involved in the scene.
He’d love you physically, but his emotions still stay with his real family.